July
2003 ********************************************
IN THIS ISSUE
Welcome
Honing your Listening Skills
News and Announcements
Contact Information
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WELCOME
Last
month I wrote about starting a conversation
with someone you meet at a networking event or
other function. You may remember that I emphasized
listening and suggested that you should let the other
person do 85% of the talking, which will enable you
to learn quite a bit about the person and his or her
business. This month I’d like to focus on listening
skills. Many people do not listen fully. We think we
are listening, but how many times have you caught
yourself daydreaming while another person was
speaking? Or, perhaps you started thinking about
what you are going to say once the person you are
speaking to stops talking? If we’re already
formulating our response, we cannot be fully
listening! Read on to find out how to hone your
listening skills.
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HONING
YOUR LISTENING SKILLS
Learning
to listen better can benefit one’s relationships
in many ways. To begin with it makes others feel
appreciated and valued. Effective listening also
reduces mistakes and misunderstandings as well as
increases trust, credibility and cooperation. Finally,
good listening can help solve problems and issues
more quickly.
Listening
is the most neglected and least understood
of all aspects of communication. We have not been
trained to listen. Most people are likely to
understand and retain only 50% of a conversation
moments after it is finished. Retention continues to
drop with time, which means an untrained listener’s
memory of a conversation that took place more than
a couple of days ago will usually be minimal and
inaccurate.
So
what can we do to increase our listening skills?
Here are several ideas:
1.
Listen. Commit to listening to one person
each day for a full day. Be sure you are listening,
not just hearing. In other words, pay attention to
and observe verbal, non-verbal, vocal and visual
clues. Also, note what is not being said as well
as what is being said. Listen between the lines.
Once you have this down, expand this exercise
to include successive days and additional people.
2.
Create a receptive listening environment.
Turn off your cell phone, computer, pager, etc.
Try to have discussions in a private, comfortable
setting with as few distractions as possible.
3.
If a person interrupts, don’t continue talking.
If the person you are speaking to interrupts you,
do not keep talking. Just stop and listen quietly
to them. Then, when they have finished talking,
just pick up where you left off.
4.
Watch your body language. The way we
sit or stand, hold our arms, and even tilt our
heads makes an impact on the person to whom
we are speaking. Be sure you maintain eye
contact. It’s a fact that eye contact is the single
most powerful way to communicate care and
interest. If you are sitting, sit square with your
back relatively straight, pitch your upper body
slightly forward, face the person directly, keep
your arms either on your desk or on the arms of
your chair. This posture conveys “I am here for
you; I want to hear what you have to say; you
have my complete attention.”
5.
Verbally acknowledge the speaker.
Acknowledge your understanding by nodding
your head and/or saying “uh-huh” or “I see”
periodically. Don’t overdo it, and be sure to
listen so you give these acknowledgements at
the appropriate times. You can also paraphrase
periodically to make sure you understand
exactly what the person is saying
6.
Do not judge the person speaking.
If you prejudge someone while they are
speaking, you automatically stop paying
attention to what they are saying. Areas
we tend to prejudge others on include looks,
what we have heard about them, their
grammar, etc. When faced with a person
who is difficult to listen to, consider it a
challenge and practice your listening skills.
Becoming
an active listener takes time and
practice. Start slowly and build your listening
skills, just as you would any other skill.
Realize that what someone is saying to you is
just as important as what you say to him or
her. Realize also that those who truly listen
save time and, often, money, because those
who listen well make fewer mistakes, and
have fewer misunderstandings. Finally,
realize that you can learn something from
each and every person you meet, and your
interactions with others will be very
enriching and enjoyable.
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NEWS
AND ANNOUNCEMENTS
Many
of you know that I love speaking to groups
and, indeed, I spend many hours each month speaking
to various businesses, associations, and organizations
on business development topics such as Power
Networking, Getting Work from Referral Sources,
Cross-Selling, Building and Maintaining Client
Relationships, Creating a Self-Introduction,
Business Card Etiquette, and more! If you belong to
a trade or industry association, a civic or community
group, or perhaps a company that conducts training or
enrichment programs for its employees and professionals,
I’d love to talk to you about presenting a customized
program on business development. Just contact me at
Barbara@Rainmaker-Strategies.com
or (858) 566-5585.
New
Group Coaching Classes Starting …
I still have room for four people in a group coaching
format. If you are interested in growing your
business, getting more clients, and increasing your
bottom line, while benefiting from the wisdom and
experience of other professionals and business
owners, all while getting guidance and support
from an experienced business coach, group
coaching may be for you. Each interactive group
meets via teleconference for one hour per week for
four weeks. Cost is $49 per person for the four full
weeks. If you think group coaching might be something
that will help you take your business to the next level,
please contact me via email
(Barbara@Rainmaker-Strategies.com)
or telephone
(858-566-5585).
