Business Coaching
I do my best in these newsletters to pass along useful insights designed to help you better understand the challenges we all face and what we can do to improve our performance, be happier, and find greater reward and fulfillment from the work we do.
But this month, let’s forget about the self-improvement and just focus on being happy and enjoying the holidays.
Too often the holidays are more stressful than fun.
I say nuts to that.
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Holiday parties and other year end activities can be a lot of fun … for most people.
But not for everybody.
I regularly have clients bring up how they dread going to work-related holiday events. So, what’s the problem?
They hate the idea of mixing/networking in a room and many have difficulty knowing how to easily start a conversation with a stranger.
You know there has to be a better way than just sticking out your hand, introducing yourself, and staying, “Hi. What do you do?”
It’s not as if that’s so bad, but you’re right There’s a better way.
Your boss is terrible.
She talks so harshly to you. The disdain and lack of respect makes you feel small and disempowered. There’s not much said when you do a job well, but plenty of criticism if things don’t go just right … and I mean exactly according to plan.
And woe unto you if you look after your own needs, you procrastinate the least little bit, or … god forbid … you make an actual mistake. You get absolutely berated.
She doesn’t do much in the way of providing you with the training and continuing education you need in order to really thrive at work. Whatever you do receive seems to be an afterthought, rather than being an integral part of a well-thought-out personal development plan.
And when you need some real guidance in terms of setting goals and priorities, and strategically managing your time … forget about it.
And so you find yourself just kind of floating through your days from task to disconnected task, not really making the most of your time, talent, or skills.
It’s a shame your boss can’t be more enlightened and just plain nicer.
Wait … what’s that?
What you think about, and more importantly, what you really focus your attention on, makes all the difference when it comes to A) how happy and stress-free you are, B) how successful you are … and … C) how connected you are to what’s really important and magical about life.
If life isn’t feeling that magical to you right now, or you’ve had times … as all of us have … when you feel harried and life seems like a grind, ask yourself this question …
What’s your mind full of?
Now, if you hadn’t figured it out already, I’m attempting a bit of subtle word play here.
The need to compete is a simple fact of life. Everyone can’t have everything they want any time they want it. Whenever there’s a scarcity of something desirable, be it food or a job or a romantic partner, people will compete with each other.
And there’s nothing wrong with healthy competition where people succeed in gaining the prize by virtue of their superior knowledge, drive, skills, and creative ability.
The need to compete on merit keeps us sharp, always figuring out new ways to gain an edge.
Where competition becomes destructive is when power, position, and influence enter the equation rather than merit.
I recently became involved in a situation in a company where a senior person intruded on the territory of a couple of colleagues … because she could.
What do you think that does to morale and ongoing collaborative efforts?
Last month, we looked at why you sometimes get misunderstood at work.
This month, we focus on what you can do to keep it from happening.
Personality differences …
Let’s start with the number one bit of advice I can give you to bridge the gap between you and those who think and act differently than you.
It starts with understanding how things go wrong.
People who communicate, process information, make decisions, and interact with others differently than you will often see your style and your particular behavior as perverse and motivated by something other than positive intention.
Sometimes people just don’t get you. You’re misunderstood at work … and it’s frustrating.
After all, you just want what’s best for your organization.
But there’s a mismatch between A) your positive intentions and what you see as your constructive communications and well-meaning actions and B) how others perceive those intentions and actions.
I see it all the time.
Examples: You take the bull by the horns and get a job done and others see you as controlling, non-collaborative, bossy, and competitive.
You listen carefully to what others in a meeting are saying … then take time to carefully consider it before offering any comment or opinion. Others see you as uninterested and disengaged.
Research shows, and our own personal experience confirms, that the way people relate to you is based on who they perceive you to be as a person … an employee … a manager … a leader.
Your intentions simply don’t matter.
If you could accomplish absolutely anything you wanted in your personal life or your business … and you knew you couldn’t fail … what would you take on?
It’d be something big, wouldn’t it?
But there are no guaranteed successes in life.
When you take on something big, you know there’s always the possibility you could fail.
Sure, you came up with a great plan, but something unexpected happened and, just like that, you’re out for the count.
That’s life. Nothing is promised. Nothing guaranteed, besides death, taxes, and telemarketers calling at dinnertime.
But here’s the crazy thing.
It’s probably the most important thing you can do every day. And if you’re in the business of serving people as I am, it’s simply essential.
What am I talking about?
Keeping your personal energy up. Being happy and staying focused on what’s good and what’s working … and what’s possible. In other words, it’s important to keep your “vibration” elevated.
It’s not always so easy to do. There are plenty of things you can focus on that’ll bring you down and lower your vibration. In fact, it’s pretty safe to say that if you don’t make it a point of maintaining a positive vibe, mentally and emotionally, on a moment to moment and day to day basis, the bad news the world has to offer and the negativity of certain people around you will affect how you feel and sap your energy.
What moves people to action?
That’s the question we asked last month.
The answer?
The people you’re attempting to influence have to THINK you have a good idea. That’s where logic … reasoning and evidence … comes into play.
They have to FEEL in their hearts … and their guts … that it’s the right thing to do. They have to want to do it at an emotional level.
And none of that matters if they don’t TRUST you … if they don’t see you as a credible, trustworthy person, a straight shooter. It helps if you’re an expert with a wealth of experience and a stellar reputation.
But let’s go beyond these abstractions and look at a real life example that clearly illustrates exactly what we mean when we talk about appealing to trust, logic, and emotion.
And who better to turn to than the masters of the art … advertising people.Read More
What moves people to action?
What is it that flips the switch, making someone go from merely considering an idea … even thinking it’s a good idea … to getting behind it and acting on it?
There’s a formula. It isn’t new. Aristotle came up with it 2,500 years ago.
It involves 3 kinds of “appeals.” He labeled them credos, logos, and pathos.
In plain English, what wins people over is a thoughtful combination of the following.
They trust you.
What you say makes logical sense and the evidence you present is compelling.
What you say or do speaks to people’s emotions. It has the power to move, touch, and inspire.
Why am I talking about this? Read More
Shut up!
Oh, that’s not very nice.
Mom would give us a spanking back in the day if we used such indelicate language.
But what if there’s some valuable advice in that imprecation.
Well, there is. Let’s just phrase it more politely and talk about it as it relates to your daily conversations.Read More
When it comes to your marketing, I have two words for you:
Partner up.
It’s natural to think we have to do this all ourselves. After all, it’s OUR business. Why should anyone else be interested in helping us promote ourselves?
Because there’s something in it for them too!
That’s what honest commerce is all about, creating that win-win.
It’s just that in the case of your marketing, it isn’t a case of the professional service provider wins and the client wins … it’s you win and your strategic partner wins.
And since you’re providing a stellar service, your client wins too. Yea! Win-win-win.
There are four variations on theme here when it comes to how this partnering can work.
You know where growth takes place? One place and one place only.
Outside your comfort zone!
It’s also where you’ll find adventure, excitement, and a fresh perspective on life.
Old, tried, and true is good. But so is new and different.Read More
When you become successful, you almost inevitably face a challenge … a limitation.
There are only so many hours in the day … and only so much of you to go around.
So how do you fit everything into your schedule without compromising your performance … and risking eventual physical and mental breakdown?
It’s an important question because too many people, especially the overachievers among us, think we can continue to push the limits of our endurance and not suffer any serious consequences.
But so often, here’s what happens.
